This week in class we discussed trends we see today in our intimate relationships. Some of the relationships we see today really mean that the traditional sense of the word "family" is in trouble. Together as a class we thought about reasons why these changes are happening and why these changes are so bad for the family. So what if people today are more independent? Isn't that one of the characteristic we Americans are known for?  There is a huge difference, however between self-centered and self-sacrificing, between independent and simply not dependent.
    One change that society is going through that I am particularly interested in as well as worried about is the delay in marriage. My generation today is getting married later than any other generation since the U.S. Census began back in 1890! Wow! Ladies and gentleman, we may have made a record for the record books but, I'm not sure this is something we should be proud of. Why the change? There is no simple answer for this I'm sure. People are usually more complex than we make them seem but there are obvious contributors to this epidemic (and no "epidemic" is not being too dramatic).
     One reason, we are a generation of divorced parents. We are a generation where many come from broken homes and broken dreams. Too many of us have seen marriages that didn't work out and saw how EVERYONE involved suffers. We are a generation who is scared. We're scared that our marriages won't workout, scared that maybe our Disney movie induced fantasy of a perfect marriage is not reality after all. Too many haven't see the benefits of marriage, only the unhappiness that may come from some marriages.
      More of a contributing factor than just the example of those marriages that came before us, is that we are a nation driven towards more than just financial stability but by financial prosperity. We don't want just enough to get by, we want to flourish! Marriages are put off with the notion that "When I have enough money, then I'll marry" or "After I get all the education I want, that's when I'll get married". But when is enough, what is enough? One of the great things about Americans is our drive to succeed, to never be satisfied with anything but our best effort. But whose to say we can't reach all our potential while married? Whose to say we have to have a doctorate and a big house on the hill before we're "ready" to get married? Why have we set these standards for ourselves?
      I'm in my third year of college working towards a Bachelors degree in psychology and I'm 21 years old. If I had the opportunity right now to marry a man I loved and who was right for me, I would take it! No hesitation, because I know one thing. Our grandparents generation had nothing. Growing up during the Great Depression shaped them, made them strong. They could never even dream of having the financial stability many of us have today. But did they still get married? You better believe they did! You don't need big house to have even bigger happiness. And you certainly don't need a Lazy Boy for every room to be in love.
      Our Heavenly Father has a plan for us. His plan is to become even as He is. Marriage is part of our journey to get there. If God has asked us to do something, he has also provided a way for us to succeed in doing it! I encourage my generation, no, I plead with my generation to not be scared to be different. This trend of delaying marriage doesn't have to be part of our generation's legacy. Let's be known for something better! I encourage those who are scared of marriage to look for examples of happy marriages around you. My parents have been married for 26 years and have four children. Though every day was not "sunshine and roses", they're happy...truly happy. Marriages not only work out but they last! The family IS forever!