Like I talked about in my previous post, fathers are important to children because they need both mother and fathers involved in the process of parenting. Of course today statistics show that less and less people are choosing to have children. Earlier in history the ideal number of kids was three or more. Today it’s only two. Some people are childless because of a choice they made to remain so. They want to focus on their marriage or their career or their individual ways of feeling fulfilled rather than having children. Unfortunately there are still many couple who don’t have children, though not by choice. But for these couples there are a lot of options from different medical procedures to adopting or foster parenting children.
Those who do have kids… well, become parents. But becoming parents means learning to parent. And learning to parent is definitely a process! In class we discussed different styles of parenting, some more effective than others. One style is the authoritarian approach. These types of parents exercise maximum control over their kids. They expect complete and unquestioning obedience because they “are the parent”! A second parenting style is the permissive parent. These are the opposite of the authoritarian. They minimize any control over their kids! They want to be their best friends and are not consistent in any parenting they may try which in the end will lose any effect it had. But like Goldie Locks porrage, there is a style in the middle, one that is “just right”. The active parent gives freedom within limits. As the child demonstrates responsibility and mature the limits expand.
Active parents have the proper amount of involvement in their child’s life. They communicate with their child in effective ways that encourage the child to voice their opinion and solve their own problems. Five steps to active parenting communication are: 1) listen ACTIVELY. Ask questions. Show that you are really listening. 2) respond to their feelings 3) look for alternative or evaluate the consequences 4) offer encouragement that they will make the right decision and then 5) follow up with them later. Show them that you really do care! Most of these suggestions pertain specifically to teenagers but any child should be allowed to voice their opinions and thoughts. It increase their self-esteem and isn’t that what all parents want for their children?
Unfortunately as a parent they also have to teach responsibility and discipline. The most important things about disciplining I learned is one, to involve the child and two make sure the punishment fits the crime. The best way to teach children is through natural consequences. Natural consequences are the results of the child’s action when the parent doesn’t get involved. For example, when a child stays up really late and then has to get up the next morning for school. The parent isn’t inflicting any punishment on the child for staying up past their bedtime but the child is very tired! Natural consequence!
The greatest jobs parents have is loving and encouraging their child. There are so many opportunities parents have to encourage rather than discourage their child if they only recognize them. Teens, but I imagine all children really have certain needs. They can either fulfill these needs in a positive way or a negative way but the needs must be met! With the love and encouragement from their parents teens have the courage they need to face their problems and fulfill their needs in positive ways.
Parenting is a blessing from our Father in heaven. He has given us a small glimpse of the eternities. He has allowed us to step into His life and see what a marvelous calling it is to be a parent. It’s a great responsibility to teach Gods children and to be responsible for them here on earth. Our father has not left us alone in it though. He will help us do it all along the way if we ask. He loves our children more than we even could! We are blessed to know that once we are parent we will always be parents. Never give up on a child not matter how lost they seem. The game is not over, it is never over! They will be our child forever because a family is forever!
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